Anger

“Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies.” St. Augustine


Watching the recent angry outbursts between members of my family made me stop and think. Before the day was over everyone was angry, but anger alone does not adequately describe the range of emotions on display that day. Annoyance, irritation and hurt quickly escalated into a fit of rage and fury. Like a large toddler throwing a tantrum. The higher brain functions are unable to stop the lower brain functions. The scene that played out was insanity.

So many people believe that it is “healthy” to loudly, violently express their anger through venting. It is much harder, and healthier to maintain control. To consider that your viewpoint is intrinsically your own, therefore not felt by the person who has ignited your anger. Put yourself in their position. What would you have done if the roles were reversed? We often fail to see the more subtle ways that our conduct, as well as our thoughts, words and actions affect other people.

It is fascinating how someone who has just made a total ass of themselves in front of witnesses can suddenly morph into the injured party. At which point the story must be rewritten to justify their position. How is it even possible to play the role of hunter and prey at the same time? We all want to look good in others eyes, but no matter what we believe, it is not possible to look good while acting insane. Other people will sometimes even let you get by with trying, but they know. Even when we loudly proclaim our own innocence, that we have done nothing wrong! The innocence does not show through.

Rather than admitting our own part in the problems and trying to make the positive changes that we can make in ourselves, it is far more appealing to dissect others and demand that they change to meet our needs or face excommunication from family, friends and the world in general. How very, very sad..