My two newest pieces in my latest creative endeavor. Now if I just had an unlimited supply of beads, stones, findings, wire.. I need a much bigger inventory. :)
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Summer Mornings
I love summer mornings. So peaceful and quiet. Sitting outside on the patio, drinking my coffee while the day is just getting started. Today could turn out to be one of those never ending busy, chaotic, mind numbing days later, but for now it is serene.
Sitting in the swing listening to the birds and watching them as they go about their little bird lives. Seems like we have so many different ones this year. All the way from tiny little hummingbirds, to finches, and king birds to a Great Horned Owl and a couple of MASSIVE Turkey Vultures. The Turkey Vultures are so ugly up close but in flight they are graceful and beautiful as they ride the thermals and glide in graceful circles, rarely even flapping their wings. Maybe I just never slowed down enough to notice before!
Challenges for the day will start soon, but this little bit of time in the morning is heaven.
Sitting in the swing listening to the birds and watching them as they go about their little bird lives. Seems like we have so many different ones this year. All the way from tiny little hummingbirds, to finches, and king birds to a Great Horned Owl and a couple of MASSIVE Turkey Vultures. The Turkey Vultures are so ugly up close but in flight they are graceful and beautiful as they ride the thermals and glide in graceful circles, rarely even flapping their wings. Maybe I just never slowed down enough to notice before!
Challenges for the day will start soon, but this little bit of time in the morning is heaven.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Anger
“Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies.” St. Augustine
Watching the recent angry outbursts between members of my family made me stop and think. Before the day was over everyone was angry, but anger alone does not adequately describe the range of emotions on display that day. Annoyance, irritation and hurt quickly escalated into a fit of rage and fury. Like a large toddler throwing a tantrum. The higher brain functions are unable to stop the lower brain functions. The scene that played out was insanity.
So many people believe that it is “healthy” to loudly, violently express their anger through venting. It is much harder, and healthier to maintain control. To consider that your viewpoint is intrinsically your own, therefore not felt by the person who has ignited your anger. Put yourself in their position. What would you have done if the roles were reversed? We often fail to see the more subtle ways that our conduct, as well as our thoughts, words and actions affect other people.
It is fascinating how someone who has just made a total ass of themselves in front of witnesses can suddenly morph into the injured party. At which point the story must be rewritten to justify their position. How is it even possible to play the role of hunter and prey at the same time? We all want to look good in others eyes, but no matter what we believe, it is not possible to look good while acting insane. Other people will sometimes even let you get by with trying, but they know. Even when we loudly proclaim our own innocence, that we have done nothing wrong! The innocence does not show through.
Rather than admitting our own part in the problems and trying to make the positive changes that we can make in ourselves, it is far more appealing to dissect others and demand that they change to meet our needs or face excommunication from family, friends and the world in general. How very, very sad..
Watching the recent angry outbursts between members of my family made me stop and think. Before the day was over everyone was angry, but anger alone does not adequately describe the range of emotions on display that day. Annoyance, irritation and hurt quickly escalated into a fit of rage and fury. Like a large toddler throwing a tantrum. The higher brain functions are unable to stop the lower brain functions. The scene that played out was insanity.
So many people believe that it is “healthy” to loudly, violently express their anger through venting. It is much harder, and healthier to maintain control. To consider that your viewpoint is intrinsically your own, therefore not felt by the person who has ignited your anger. Put yourself in their position. What would you have done if the roles were reversed? We often fail to see the more subtle ways that our conduct, as well as our thoughts, words and actions affect other people.
It is fascinating how someone who has just made a total ass of themselves in front of witnesses can suddenly morph into the injured party. At which point the story must be rewritten to justify their position. How is it even possible to play the role of hunter and prey at the same time? We all want to look good in others eyes, but no matter what we believe, it is not possible to look good while acting insane. Other people will sometimes even let you get by with trying, but they know. Even when we loudly proclaim our own innocence, that we have done nothing wrong! The innocence does not show through.
Rather than admitting our own part in the problems and trying to make the positive changes that we can make in ourselves, it is far more appealing to dissect others and demand that they change to meet our needs or face excommunication from family, friends and the world in general. How very, very sad..
Sunday, April 12, 2009
What a Week-End!
Holiday weekends are always busy. This one started out that way and then it took the strangest turn...
We woke up Friday morning to a beautiful day. A little chilly for mid-April but nice none the less. So after a nice leisurely breakfast and planning session we set off to accomplish all those things on our to-do list that had been put off for far too long.
First on the list was emptying out our storage shed. Not too glamorous but getting rid of that extra bill was appealing and besides there were cabinets in there that we were going to install in my brand new jewelery making studio that we were going to work on finishing. My son-in-law and daughter met us at the storage place to help. It really went much quicker than I expected and soon we were on our way home to unload. Then head to the Home Improvement store for the last few items that we needed for our remodel.
As we were coming down our street I noticed this car driving really slowly and looking around, and by the time we pulled into the driveway, they were coming back the other way. There was not much going on in the neighborhood and they just looked lost. My daughter and I went inside for a break while the guys unloaded the trucks. As they were finishing up my husband saw the same car parked up the street a couple of houses and two young African American men had gotten out of the car and were looking around. He spoke to them and asked if he could help them? They told him who they were looking for and asked him if they were on the right street. He let them know that the street that they were looking for was on the other side of town and they thanked him and said they would call their friend back for directions, as they got back in the car and drove away.
After taking a break and making a list for the Home Improvement store about half an hour later we left. We were pretty proud of ourselves for staying on track and being so organized. We even remembered to take the list. Another half hour or so went by as we purchased our items and loaded them up in the truck, and headed back home for the real work.
Driving up to the house we noticed that same car parked a couple houses up the other direction from our house, but it didn't really register at the time. We got out of the truck and as we came across our driveway the two men that my husband spoke to earlier in the day were exiting our neighbors house across the street. Our neighbor has a home business so it is not unusual to see people coming and going but this was different. They were not just casually strolling out, they were moving quickly with their arms loaded with things. We had both stopped where we were and were just watching knowing that this didn't look right. Had they broken in to the house? About the time that thought ran through my head my neighbor ran out of his house yelling "call the cops, I am being robbed!" Almost as soon as he said it I saw his hand come up and he had a gun. He started firing, the robbers picked up their pace and were running, I was fumbling for my cell phone and my husband takes off running towards where the robbers are and bullets are flying! I yelled his name and he turned but not to come back he jumped in his car and started it up. Neighbors gun was empty, robbers hit the gas with my husband following! Other neighbors were standing around looking, I guess the gunfire caught their attention, but not doing anything except watching. I finally got my cell phone to connect but it had decided that it was out of the service area and connected with the county emergency number instead of the city. I quickly told the dispatcher that I needed city police and what the emergency was. Neighbor robbed at gunpoint, shots fired, husband following, directions of travel when they turned at the end of the street. I was doing well until he turned at the end of the street and everything that could happen flashed through my mind! The adrenaline hit and my hands were shaking so badly that I could barely hold the phone! The police were there quickly, unfortunately not quickly enough, but their response time was great! The robbers had a much faster car and were able to loose my husband.. I was relieved, him not so much.
Our street was blocked off as officers searched for the bullets trying to determine what if anything had been hit. We all wrote out our statements for the police and answered their questions, then the neighbors started to stroll by to find out if we had more details.... The day was almost gone by the time it was over! We went inside to try to unwind a little when it dawned on us. All the stuff we bought was sitting in the back of the truck! And there were rain clouds coming in quickly! Got it unloaded and put away the stuff from the storage shed just minutes before the rain started!
It drizzled rain the rest of the weekend so we never did get any of our chores done, but we ended up having a wonderful Easter Day with our kids and grand kids.
All in all I guess it was a good weekend. Life does go on, no one was hurt, none of our supplies got ruined and there is always next weekend. And as for the thugs that decided to commit such an act as to enter someones home with a gun and rob them on Good Friday no less, (that has to be really bad Karma!) I do hope that this is visited back on them and that someday they know how it feels to be on the other end. I hope that they are caught and that they do the time in prison that they deserve to do.
I learned something else too. When something looks suspicious, call the police then to check it out. If it is nothing, no harm done. But you might just avoid something huge by calling.
We woke up Friday morning to a beautiful day. A little chilly for mid-April but nice none the less. So after a nice leisurely breakfast and planning session we set off to accomplish all those things on our to-do list that had been put off for far too long.
First on the list was emptying out our storage shed. Not too glamorous but getting rid of that extra bill was appealing and besides there were cabinets in there that we were going to install in my brand new jewelery making studio that we were going to work on finishing. My son-in-law and daughter met us at the storage place to help. It really went much quicker than I expected and soon we were on our way home to unload. Then head to the Home Improvement store for the last few items that we needed for our remodel.
As we were coming down our street I noticed this car driving really slowly and looking around, and by the time we pulled into the driveway, they were coming back the other way. There was not much going on in the neighborhood and they just looked lost. My daughter and I went inside for a break while the guys unloaded the trucks. As they were finishing up my husband saw the same car parked up the street a couple of houses and two young African American men had gotten out of the car and were looking around. He spoke to them and asked if he could help them? They told him who they were looking for and asked him if they were on the right street. He let them know that the street that they were looking for was on the other side of town and they thanked him and said they would call their friend back for directions, as they got back in the car and drove away.
After taking a break and making a list for the Home Improvement store about half an hour later we left. We were pretty proud of ourselves for staying on track and being so organized. We even remembered to take the list. Another half hour or so went by as we purchased our items and loaded them up in the truck, and headed back home for the real work.
Driving up to the house we noticed that same car parked a couple houses up the other direction from our house, but it didn't really register at the time. We got out of the truck and as we came across our driveway the two men that my husband spoke to earlier in the day were exiting our neighbors house across the street. Our neighbor has a home business so it is not unusual to see people coming and going but this was different. They were not just casually strolling out, they were moving quickly with their arms loaded with things. We had both stopped where we were and were just watching knowing that this didn't look right. Had they broken in to the house? About the time that thought ran through my head my neighbor ran out of his house yelling "call the cops, I am being robbed!" Almost as soon as he said it I saw his hand come up and he had a gun. He started firing, the robbers picked up their pace and were running, I was fumbling for my cell phone and my husband takes off running towards where the robbers are and bullets are flying! I yelled his name and he turned but not to come back he jumped in his car and started it up. Neighbors gun was empty, robbers hit the gas with my husband following! Other neighbors were standing around looking, I guess the gunfire caught their attention, but not doing anything except watching. I finally got my cell phone to connect but it had decided that it was out of the service area and connected with the county emergency number instead of the city. I quickly told the dispatcher that I needed city police and what the emergency was. Neighbor robbed at gunpoint, shots fired, husband following, directions of travel when they turned at the end of the street. I was doing well until he turned at the end of the street and everything that could happen flashed through my mind! The adrenaline hit and my hands were shaking so badly that I could barely hold the phone! The police were there quickly, unfortunately not quickly enough, but their response time was great! The robbers had a much faster car and were able to loose my husband.. I was relieved, him not so much.
Our street was blocked off as officers searched for the bullets trying to determine what if anything had been hit. We all wrote out our statements for the police and answered their questions, then the neighbors started to stroll by to find out if we had more details.... The day was almost gone by the time it was over! We went inside to try to unwind a little when it dawned on us. All the stuff we bought was sitting in the back of the truck! And there were rain clouds coming in quickly! Got it unloaded and put away the stuff from the storage shed just minutes before the rain started!
It drizzled rain the rest of the weekend so we never did get any of our chores done, but we ended up having a wonderful Easter Day with our kids and grand kids.
All in all I guess it was a good weekend. Life does go on, no one was hurt, none of our supplies got ruined and there is always next weekend. And as for the thugs that decided to commit such an act as to enter someones home with a gun and rob them on Good Friday no less, (that has to be really bad Karma!) I do hope that this is visited back on them and that someday they know how it feels to be on the other end. I hope that they are caught and that they do the time in prison that they deserve to do.
I learned something else too. When something looks suspicious, call the police then to check it out. If it is nothing, no harm done. But you might just avoid something huge by calling.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
2008 The Year From Hell
2008 The Year of Hell
This past year has been quite a challenge. Nine months into the year, and our family has had 9 major hospitalizations, and more than 25 trips to the emergency room, as well as a super bug infection to show for all that time in the hospital. The emergencies continued right down the line to the very end of the year when my Mother dislocated her artificial hip for the second time in 6 months on the day after Christmas. This of course; required yet another ambulance call and day in the Emergency Room. To be followed by a fall off the top bunk on New Years Eve that necessitated another visit to Urgent Care for one of my granddaughters. All of this along with extra visits to have various tests run, and numerous doctor appointments. There is yet another surgery on the horizon. I have gotten to the point that I recognize hospital personnel at 3 different hospitals! Worse yet they are even recognizing me!
My husband started out the year with a lump on his neck and it has been like musical ambulances ever since! To be fair, our parents live close by and are in their 80’s, so some of this is to be expected I guess. We also have 9 active grandchildren. I suppose with that many people some things are bound to happen, but it seems to me that I have spent a freakishly abnormal amount of time visiting people I love in medical facilities.
While all of the medical emergencies alone would have been plenty to deal with, the normal or in some cases maybe not so normal family struggles continued. I assume all families have them, but I only see mine from the inside so I am never quite sure. We had our adult children and some of the grandchildren moving back in temporarily. My youngest daughter was graduating from High School and getting ready to start college. I was having flashes of empty nest syndrome even though my nest was quite full. On top of all that I am right smack in the middle of menopause with all of the lovely new sensations that come with this stage of life. The most special being those God awful hot flashes that seem to come directly from hell! As if that was not enough, we nervously watched the television coverage of Hurricane Ike as it made landfall and traveled a familiar route right up the interstate less than 10 miles from the homes of my sister and brother! I made telephone calls to check on them until the cell phone coverage was lost. Then you wait to see if everyone is ok. Luckily we heard from them the following day when the cell phone god allowed the connection to go through. They were all fine and had very little actual damage to their properties. Having seen the devastation that other areas so close to them suffered on the news coverage that day I am so grateful that things turned out the way that they did. Although some of the places that we loved to go, like Galveston and Crystal Beach, to relax and find some peace in all the chaos did not fare as well. It was sad to realize that our visit to those places just two months ago was the last time that we will ever see the things that were there. It will be back, but it will be a long time in the making and it will be different, with new places and slightly a different landscape. I’m glad I was able to take my youngest daughter and granddaughters with me to see one of my favorite places.
For awhile it was overwhelming, I wondered how I was going to get through all of it with my sanity intact. Things would seem to be calming down, getting ready to have a nice relaxing dinner and the telephone would ring. (What is it about dinner time that triggers emergencies?) Ringing of the telephone becomes something that strikes fear in your heart when you hear it. Sounds of sirens prompt calls to loved ones just to make sure everything is ok. I actually became fairly paranoid waiting for the latest catastrophic event to fall upon me.
Lately however I am calm. I think that I may finally be learning that when you pray for God to take over because you realize that there just is not anything more that you can do, it is never good form to change your mind 15 minutes after you ask and demand that he give it back to you as He is just not handling it correctly.
I think I am going to round up all my pictures from this past year, especially the ones that I took of everyone in the hospital. (Yeah I know, there is something really weird about hospital pictures.) Once I get them all together I am going to scrapbook all of those pictures into a special album titled “2008 MY YEAR OF HELL” The good part about this past year is that I have learned so much. I know that I can’t make the world what I want it to be. Not even my little piece of it. The realization that I am not in control is actually comforting. That also means that I am not responsible for fixing any of it. I know that there are people in my life who I will love forever, but that there is no way I can possibly know how long they will be around so that I can tell them that I love them. I have learned that me beating myself up because I can’t be all things for everyone is a waste of time. It leaves me free to do things that I can to help, but not sacrifice my own life in the process. I am learning that I am not faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and I cannot leap over tall buildings in a single bound. I am not super anything. I am sure there are more lessons to be learned, but hopefully I have become more willing to learn those lessons and less stubborn along the way.
There have also been wonderful moments in this roller coaster year. There have been so many moments when my grandchildren have done the cutest things. As well as moments; when each of their smiles made even the saddest times bearable. Hugs from grandchildren can be the best medicine in the world. I learned that when I needed them, my daughters were all there to help. They all went out of their way in one way or another to make life easier. I realized once again, how much my husband really means to me. After all these years he is still my rock. He can put his arms around me and make the world a calmer place. Maybe, that year of hell has served a purpose after all. So on we go to face another day. Only God knows what challenges await us, but I will go into it with the knowledge that I am not alone.
This past year has been quite a challenge. Nine months into the year, and our family has had 9 major hospitalizations, and more than 25 trips to the emergency room, as well as a super bug infection to show for all that time in the hospital. The emergencies continued right down the line to the very end of the year when my Mother dislocated her artificial hip for the second time in 6 months on the day after Christmas. This of course; required yet another ambulance call and day in the Emergency Room. To be followed by a fall off the top bunk on New Years Eve that necessitated another visit to Urgent Care for one of my granddaughters. All of this along with extra visits to have various tests run, and numerous doctor appointments. There is yet another surgery on the horizon. I have gotten to the point that I recognize hospital personnel at 3 different hospitals! Worse yet they are even recognizing me!
My husband started out the year with a lump on his neck and it has been like musical ambulances ever since! To be fair, our parents live close by and are in their 80’s, so some of this is to be expected I guess. We also have 9 active grandchildren. I suppose with that many people some things are bound to happen, but it seems to me that I have spent a freakishly abnormal amount of time visiting people I love in medical facilities.
While all of the medical emergencies alone would have been plenty to deal with, the normal or in some cases maybe not so normal family struggles continued. I assume all families have them, but I only see mine from the inside so I am never quite sure. We had our adult children and some of the grandchildren moving back in temporarily. My youngest daughter was graduating from High School and getting ready to start college. I was having flashes of empty nest syndrome even though my nest was quite full. On top of all that I am right smack in the middle of menopause with all of the lovely new sensations that come with this stage of life. The most special being those God awful hot flashes that seem to come directly from hell! As if that was not enough, we nervously watched the television coverage of Hurricane Ike as it made landfall and traveled a familiar route right up the interstate less than 10 miles from the homes of my sister and brother! I made telephone calls to check on them until the cell phone coverage was lost. Then you wait to see if everyone is ok. Luckily we heard from them the following day when the cell phone god allowed the connection to go through. They were all fine and had very little actual damage to their properties. Having seen the devastation that other areas so close to them suffered on the news coverage that day I am so grateful that things turned out the way that they did. Although some of the places that we loved to go, like Galveston and Crystal Beach, to relax and find some peace in all the chaos did not fare as well. It was sad to realize that our visit to those places just two months ago was the last time that we will ever see the things that were there. It will be back, but it will be a long time in the making and it will be different, with new places and slightly a different landscape. I’m glad I was able to take my youngest daughter and granddaughters with me to see one of my favorite places.
For awhile it was overwhelming, I wondered how I was going to get through all of it with my sanity intact. Things would seem to be calming down, getting ready to have a nice relaxing dinner and the telephone would ring. (What is it about dinner time that triggers emergencies?) Ringing of the telephone becomes something that strikes fear in your heart when you hear it. Sounds of sirens prompt calls to loved ones just to make sure everything is ok. I actually became fairly paranoid waiting for the latest catastrophic event to fall upon me.
Lately however I am calm. I think that I may finally be learning that when you pray for God to take over because you realize that there just is not anything more that you can do, it is never good form to change your mind 15 minutes after you ask and demand that he give it back to you as He is just not handling it correctly.
I think I am going to round up all my pictures from this past year, especially the ones that I took of everyone in the hospital. (Yeah I know, there is something really weird about hospital pictures.) Once I get them all together I am going to scrapbook all of those pictures into a special album titled “2008 MY YEAR OF HELL” The good part about this past year is that I have learned so much. I know that I can’t make the world what I want it to be. Not even my little piece of it. The realization that I am not in control is actually comforting. That also means that I am not responsible for fixing any of it. I know that there are people in my life who I will love forever, but that there is no way I can possibly know how long they will be around so that I can tell them that I love them. I have learned that me beating myself up because I can’t be all things for everyone is a waste of time. It leaves me free to do things that I can to help, but not sacrifice my own life in the process. I am learning that I am not faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and I cannot leap over tall buildings in a single bound. I am not super anything. I am sure there are more lessons to be learned, but hopefully I have become more willing to learn those lessons and less stubborn along the way.
There have also been wonderful moments in this roller coaster year. There have been so many moments when my grandchildren have done the cutest things. As well as moments; when each of their smiles made even the saddest times bearable. Hugs from grandchildren can be the best medicine in the world. I learned that when I needed them, my daughters were all there to help. They all went out of their way in one way or another to make life easier. I realized once again, how much my husband really means to me. After all these years he is still my rock. He can put his arms around me and make the world a calmer place. Maybe, that year of hell has served a purpose after all. So on we go to face another day. Only God knows what challenges await us, but I will go into it with the knowledge that I am not alone.
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